


Hancock Is More Of A Cat Person

by RedneckWerewolf



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Bodyswap, Fluff, The Slog, crackfic, furiously writes this after being up all night, i'm going straight 2 hell and i'll be laughing maniacally the whole way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-08-23 23:27:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8346961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedneckWerewolf/pseuds/RedneckWerewolf
Summary: Yet another body-swap fic as an AU of the first one. But Hancock gets swapped and it's hilarious.





	1. You know, NYA~

   The trio were still at the Slog, planning out their moves for the next day. Hancock had his legs across Nick's lap, to keep him pinned to the couch. The General was reviewing the layout of the mine, trying to estimate how many raiders or whoever may have moved in since the previous day. Nick was lazily petting one of the Slog's resident cats, a patchy-haired calico named Jimmy. He'd draped himself across Hancock's legs in his quest for attention, and he knew the General would spoil him. The 'General' may have been acting off, but that would hardly deter the little critter.

   The General herself was occupying a chair next to the couch where her companions lay. She was studying her pip-boy's map, figuring out nearby sources of enemies that could reoccupy Dunwich in the short time they'd been gone. The artifact sat on the battered coffee table before her, littered with empty bottles and chess pieces. The mysterious sphere had a handkerchief thrown over it so Hancock didn't have to look at it. Or rather, avoid looking at it. 

   He couldn't explain the ache behind his eyes whenever it got into his field of vision. Like it didn't  _want_ him to look at it. 

   Hancock decided that he didn't want it to look at him either.

   "Hey, Nick?" The General said suddenly. Hancock looked up and saw the concern in her face. "I just realized I never ran a diagnostic after Arlen fixed your leg. How the hell do I do that?"

   "Here," He patted the ghoul's legs with one hand and lifted the purring cat with the other. Hancock obliged and lifted his legs. "Privacy'll help you relax and focus." Nick deposited Jimmy onto Hancock's belly and disappeared into the bunk room with the General.

   Hancock slid further down the length of the couch, the cat not budging from his new spot. Hancock absentmindedly stroked the cat and let his thoughts drift. Here and there he calculated the odds of no one being at the quarry when they got there.  _Nah, no one's that lucky._ Then he thought about how Nick actually ran diagnostics. He wondered if he could see a display like a terminal, overlaying his normal vision. _That'd be pretty damn sweet._

In the middle of toying with the idea that the pair could be up to  _something_ , a stiff breeze gusted through the open doors of the main building, blowing loose items from the table in front of him. Including the small square of cloth concealing the artifact. 

   Upon its reveal, Jimmy hissed and spat, his ears flat against his skull. His claws scratched deep into Hancock's skin as he launched himself straight into the leg of the table in an attempt to escape. The artifact rolled and fell, just missing the carpet, and bounced on the concrete. 

   "Aw, _fuck!_ " Hancock yelled, his eyes squeezed shut in pain, hands on his middle. He didn't see the stunned cat trying to scramble to his feet, nor did he see the green light burst from the artifact. But he  _felt_ it. Heat. A sudden sensation of falling apart, dissolving into nothing, merging with the darkness that engulfed him.

... 

   He opened his eyes sometime later, blinking away a haze. He was still on the couch. He noticed his vision was much sharper than it usually was, especially after waking up. His head hurt like a bitch, he couldn't remember why. Was he hungover? No, that wasn't likely, they had a job to do. He wouldn't drink himself stupid before heading out.

   Hancock went to sit up, but his body twisted in an unexpected way. He paused, confused, before he heard the General next to him.

   "John? Hold still... Something's  _happened."_

   He lifted himself on all fours in a panic-fueled rush to get up off the couch. But when he looked down, he didn't see his familiar, scarred hands.

   What he saw instead were a pair of tiny paws.

   Hancock tried to yell in surprise, to use some choice swears he kept in reserve for particularly bad situations, but what came out was a feline screech. His own vocalization spooked him even more.

    _What the hell kind of botched chem did I take this goddamn time?_

   "Hancock! Get a hold of yourself!" He heard Nick command, before feeling thin hands lift him bodily into the air for a terrifying second. He was deposited into Nick's lap, and looking around, he realized that Nick and the General had been sitting on either side of him, waiting for him to wake up.

   He was very small. And very puffy. As he relaxed his fur flattened out.  _His fur._

   "Looks like you got the same sort of treatment we got, John," The General said, reaching over to gently grasp his chin, shining a pen light into his eyes. "Well you don't seem to've suffered anything major from Jimmy headbutting the table." She started stroking him, head to tail. His butt lifted in the air of it's own accord. "How do you feel?"

   He tried to say ' _I'm fine, but what the fuck happened to me?'_ but what came out was _"mrrow."_

   Hancock hadn't been so embarrassed since the previous New Year's party at the State House. But only Fahrenheit knew about that.  _Oh hell, she cannot find out about this._ His bodyguard had no need to know that the tough ghoul mayor of Goodneighbor was now a seven-pound cat. Nobody needed to know.  _He_ didn't need to know.

   Thankfully, Nick interrupted his thoughts. "Hancock, you'll be fine. We can fix this before we head back to the mine." 

   He looked up at the detective curiously. The artifact's involvement made sense. But why didn't  _he_ have to be in the mine for this to work?

   "We think the artifact only works by participants and location. _You_ can get switched back here, but _we_ have to be in the shrine chamber."

    _Well, that makes sense. Kinda._

Then he had another thought. He sat up straight, then balanced unsteadily onto one of Nick's thighs on his hind legs. He looked around the empty room anxiously.

   "Oh! Shit, John, your body's fine. Jimmy's a cat, being in another body won't change that. He's sleeping on a bench outside in the sun." The General looked at him with an odd expression before hauling him into her lap. "God, you're adorable." He found himself being cradled, his girlfriend kissing his head while Nick chuckled off to the side.

   Hancock understood why animals liked Nick so much when the General scritched the top of his head with her bare metal hand. It was absolutely _blissful._  He found himself purring, though he had no idea how he was doing it.

    _Maybe this ain't all bad,_ he thought as he was smothered in attention.


	2. Cat Naps and Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i had a bad breakdown last night so here's some major fluff with an ending that can only come from a sleep deprived mind  
> what tf is this

   The General wandered out into the common room with her hands full of bowls. One hand had one with water, the other hand held a carefully stacked pair; one with minced raw meat, the other with roasted meat. She looked around questioningly until she spotted a hand hanging off one end of the old couch in the middle of the room.

   She came around the side of the couch, about to ask Nick where Hancock and Jimmy were, but the question died on her lips at the sight before her.

   Nick lay trapped under Jimmy, who was sprawled out in the way Hancock usually did, but with his hands curled as though they were his usual paws. Hancock lay on top of Nick's head like a furry little hat. All three were fast asleep. 

   The General set the bowls down and tried to keep herself composed. Nick was stretched out, hands up behind his head and partially hanging off the arm of the couch. Jimmy, still seemingly unaware that he was anything but a cat, slept belly-down with his limbs in all directions. He twitched occasionally and made sleepy noises. Hancock was curled around the top of Nick's head, nose buried in his short hair. Every now and then Nick would wheeze under the weight of the cat-turned-ghoul on him.

    _"_ _Oh my god,"_ the General whined. She dearly wished she'd brought her salvaged camera. She set the three bowls on the coffee table before she could drop them. Hancock woke at her quiet exclamation, lifted his head, and  _murped_ at her. 

    _"Jo-o-ohn!"_ she sobbed as quietly as she could.  _"Fuck, you're so fucking cute!"_

   Hancock looked smug.

  Jimmy heard her crying at her ghoul-turned-cat and made a similar noise at her. Nick also woke at her cry, confused from his nap. 

   "Wha- what's going on?" He asked, trying to sit up, but still held down by the waking cat. Jimmy stretched languidly, his hands pushing into Nick's face. "Hey!"

   "Sorry Nick," the General replied, wiping her welling eyes. "I brought them a snack. We're gonna have to try and switch them back tonight so John can have a day to recover." 

   Hancock had hopped up onto the arm of the couch when Nick and Jimmy started moving around. He wasn't wobbly on his feet but he had some trouble coordinating all four of them to walk. He'd tried jumping up onto the back of the couch, but had underestimated how strong cats were. He had launched himself up over the back of the couch, bounced off the cushions, and flopped onto the floor. Jimmy saw the whole thing. He still felt the cat's judgment.

   The General made kissy noises to get the cat's attention.  _"Jimmy!"_ she called sweetly.  _"Want some molerat, pretty boy?"_ Jimmy instantly perked up, pushing himself up by digging his hands into Nick's ribs. Nick's surprised cry of pain was drowned out by Jimmy landing on the floor gracelessly. He hadn't mastered having two legs or thumbs in the hours since the switch. Nick wrapped his arms around himself and made almost imperceptible noises of pain.

   The General scooted the bowl of cooked meat in front of him and scrubbed her thumb and the first two fingers together to get his attention. He hummed and stuck his hand in to scoop some out. Thankfully he preferred to hook his food on his claws to eat rather than stick his face in it. Hancock had called his style of eating 'decadent.' Nick called it 'messy.'

   Hancock looked at her from the arm of the couch with mild jealousy in his eyes.

   "Yes, you're my pretty boy, too." She leaned over Nick to kiss the top of his head. "Though you get the red meat. I heated it up just enough to kill off anything nasty." She kissed Nick on the forehead as she picked Hancock up to move him onto the table where his lunch sat. "Got some water for you, too."

   Nick managed to sit himself up to make room for the General as they watched the pair eat. Jimmy made a mess, of course, dropping bits of meat on the table between himself and the bowl. Hancock ate slowly, surprised by the fact that he rather liked the nearly raw meat. The wasteland demanded that meat be cooked thoroughly to avoid dying of some parasite or disease. His temporary cat stomach could digest the meat far better than he could.

   Nick leaned on the General and was soon back to dozing. Hancock finished his bowl and went to snag what Jimmy had dropped. He nearly caught his own hand upside the head as the cat defended his scraps.

   After a minute or so of messing with the cat, he decided to join his friends on the couch for another nap. He sat in loaf form in the General's lap and considered the option of maintaining a worry-free cat lifestyle. He banished it on the grounds that he did, in fact, have a human girlfriend. As much as he loved the affection, there were other benefits to be remembered.

   His girlfriend in question petted him with one hand, and stroked Nick's hair with the other.

   "I wonder how you'd react to catnip. It still exists, right?" Hancock looked up at her and blinked once, their universal 'yes.' He'd watched cats in Diamond city go crazy over it, then go pass out somewhere. He'd always thought it was funny that there were chems for cats just growing in the tiny gardens that dotted the city.

   "Catnip's not just a relaxing chem, John," she said, seemingly reading his thoughts. She looked him in the eyes. "It's an aphrodisiac for cats." 

   The General would never forget the look on his little face at that fact. She was caught in a wheezing fit, trying not to wake Nick or Jimmy, who had just fallen asleep. Hancock was wide-eyed in her lap.

   "I'm kidding,  _holy hell, John."_ Tears streamed down her face.  _"Fuck!"_ She couldn't get anymore words out, and even if he had the capability, Hancock wouldn't be able to either. He got up and carefully walked over to sit on Jimmy in protest. 

    _"John, I wouldn't give you ca-"_ Her sentence was lost in another fit of laughter, which she was trying to suppress. He circled around on Jimmy's chest and sat back down facing the opposite direction.

   The General spent the next ten minutes sob-laughing while Hancock pretended to ignore her for her joke. Nick didn't ask for an explanation, he got all he needed to know from the General pointing at Hancock and choking out _"Catnip!"_ as she laughed hysterically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- hoo boy last night was so fuckin bad  
> \- i may be dead inside but at least my cat stands by me  
> \- imagine the little gray cat meme but a patchy haired calico  
> \- i'm tired and drained and words don't look like words anymore  
> \- hancock: i should stay a cat  
> also hancock: nah man the sexe  
> \- also hancock: screams internally  
> \- me: does this come off as bestiality or am i writing this properly as her messing w/him


	3. How To Herd A Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (use feathers and string)  
> This Is The Chapter Where They Get Switched Back  
> i remembered i never actually finished this????

   Less than an hour later, Hancock had forgiven the General for her joke, and was sleeping curled up in the folds of her coat as she reclined with a book. The artifact was wrapped up in an old shirt on the table next to her feet. Nick was luring Jimmy back into the building with a feather tied to a string. 

   Hancock was spared the indignity of watching the cat pounce around in his body, scrabbling at the feather as it was yanked out of his reach. Nick had found him trying to catch leaves as they blew around outside the diner across the street. 

   Upon hearing Nick approach, the cat had caught a leaf in his mouth and brought it to him as a gift. Jimmy still hadn't quite caught on about the whole switcharoo situation and Nick committed to memory the sight of what appeared to be the mayor of Goodneighbor delightedly crunching on a dry hubflower leaf. 

   The General marked her page with an old 100$ bill and woke Hancock up. She planted her feet on the floor and set the book on the table while Hancock balanced on her legs and stretched, trying not to leave claw marks in Nick's trousers. He'd managed to wear his only good pair, a gift from Ellie, for their eventful trip into the Hell Mine. Hancock had Daisy on the lookout for a replacement pair since they all knew the synth would wear his clothes until they wore right off his back.

   Speaking of worn clothes, Hancock was glad he'd been wearing his t-shirt and slacks, since Jimmy had clearly been rolling around in the dirt.  _Dust baths don't work for ghouls_ , he thought as he hopped onto the table.

   "I have an idea about how to go about the switching back," the General said as she patted her legs to attract Jimmy's attention. "It should be easy, I asked everyone to clear out for a few minutes while we do this. So, you know, no one else gets involved."

   Nick balled up the toy and tossed it to the General, who caught it as Jimmy pounced. He couldn't _pounce_ , per se, as he normally would, but being on only two legs didn't stop him from launching himself at the couch. The General guessed that Hancock was going to have quite a few bruises from the cat's awkward landing and subsequent entanglement in her limbs. 

   The less-than-graceful landing did nothing to deter Jimmy, however. He pawed at the General's hand until she let him have the feather and string. Hancock watched from the other side of the coffee table, clearly mortified. 

   "Alright, I guess it's now or never," Nick said as he picked the covered artifact up. The General maneuvered Jimmy off to the other side of the couch. She was glad she had Nick's strength. Under normal circumstances, she'd be too busy being squished to heave anyone around. "What exactly is your plan?" He asked as they walked out the eastern doorway. Hancock had joined Jimmy on the couch, suddenly interested in the string.

   She motioned for him to hand the orb to her. She unwrapped it and slung the shirt over his shoulder. "My plan?" she asked as she led him around the corner. Nick recognized her smile as one she made right before she did something that she thought was hilarious. "IS  _THIS!"_

   The General whipped the orb around the corner and into the common room like a grenade. They heard a startled screech from Hancock right before a bright green flash left spots dancing across their vision.

   "Well, I guess that works," Nick said as he rubbed his eyes. 

   "Let's go make sure they're okay."

...

   Both were awake within the hour; Hancock felt like he was nursing a hangover, and Jimmy refused to move from his spot on the old couch. The General left him a bowl of water and a strip of fresh meat nearby. The General and Nick carried plates of food out to where Hancock had laid himself to rest. The man would brush off life endangering wounds but had a flair for the dramatic when it came to minor pains and illnesses. Probably due to the fact that he was in the trusted company of those who would indulge him. 

   He'd occupied one of the old loungers surrounding the tarberry pool and covered his head with a blanket. Nick nudged the plate into Hancock's arm while the General dragged another lounger over. The ghoul sat up, the blanket sliding down into his lap as he eagerly took the plate. The General seated herself alongside Hancock while he and Nick ate, the pair leaning into each other. Nick struggled to ignore certain textures of the meal and took a mouthful of nuka-cola whenever it became too much.

   Nick warily tried out a piece of fresh-baked roll and noticed Hancock whispering into the General's ear. He also noticed the slightest hint of violet tinting her cheeks, his body's version of blushing. 

   Nick supposed it had something to do with catnip. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- i turned on my disney pandora and Fear Thy Neighbor is on my tv  
> \- i turned off my tv my ears r acting up with all the noise rip me  
> \- where's that gif of the anime guy eating the leaf that flies into his face  
> \- my cat is sitting on me she's drooling everywhere  
> \- he loves that cronch  
> \- MARIE THE BAGUETTES HURRY UP  
> \- i don't know how to properly use "per se" but that's not going to stop me from using it  
> \- YEET  
> \- rip hancock jimmy ate fuckin leaves all day  
> \- hancock @ the general: oh the things i am going 2 do 2 u  
> \- u know one of these days i might use the body swap premise for smut just not when one of them is stuck in an animal body, unless the one in the animal body stumbles across the other two and is like holy shit this is some JUICY GOSSIP but they can't tell anyone bc they're a fuckin cat  
> \- actually that one sounds way funnier i might do that instead

**Author's Note:**

> \- i'm losing my fucking mind trying to start this  
> \- i really do have too much time on my hands  
> \- i'm tired and everything's funny holy shit have i got ideas  
> \- takes a break 2 run around and feed all of the animals bc literally no one else bothers  
> \- to've is definitely a thing don't question it  
> \- i can't believe hancock is a fucking furry  
> \- tells my cat to fuck off while writing this  
> \- my cat: bitch pay attention to me


End file.
